Monday, December 10, 2007

37 factors of a rut




1. Got downsized.
2. Got new job that i don't like. same department. very strange how corporations work these days.
3. Lebanon is bracing for another Izraeli invasion. The economy is at a standstill again, former war-lords are still playing games with our lives.
4. The world is still against Palestine, in policy and rhetoric. no human rights for those who need them most.
5. There are so many wars and injustices that i tend to forget a few of them, and it seems others do the same so that those injustices remain.
5. Bush is trying to launch another unjust war, even though the case for is falling apart. They're not even working on their lies anymore, soon they'd say "we're taking over the world, deal with it."
6. Karl Rove has been trying to push blame for the Iraq war on the dumb democrats. This is the craziest use of warped logic ever.
7. Emotionally, socially, politically, environmentally, economically, culturally, humanistically, these are the worst days i've ever witnessed. More so since the knowledge and ability exists for a utopia.
8. The only person i knew who practiced love and justice passed away last year.
9. I don't ever see myself going back home.
10. I no longer see myself as a filmaker.
12. There is so much to think about that I end up crippled doing nothing.
13. I had a vision of my own demise and it isn't pretty, but is it changeable?
14. I have a problem, I know when people lie. But even when they know I've caught them, they lie more. Is that some sort of reconstructed human condition? For me to survive, I have to ignore the lies. That is painful, especially when some of those people are close.
15. there are 37 but I only have the energy to write 14. and missed # 11.

9 comments:

Ibn Bint Jbeil said...

BAS 37??? you gots ta figure in all 500 significant factors, otherwise any conclusion will prove to be flawed, in terms of its statistical validity, its mushroom pungency, and its sugarcoated scrumptiousness.

mmmmmmmmm, doghnuts!

Dania said...

When you go through all that, and reach this state of every thing is f***** out!
It is when you go through changes, when you reshape your self in many new aspects.
I do believe these break-downs are useful sometimes. So use them….
And let there be light, it is up to you really ;)

transient said...

sure, but this isn't a breakdown, this is the constant that has reshaped the norm and lowered expectations for most people. I'm simple a mess, lost in a gargantuan mess.

But I'll try your way a bit.

poshlemon said...

transient,

I had a total breakdown in september, a breakdown whose consequences, on both my mental and physical health, I am still overcoming now in December. I think it's because I wasn't armed with the mental and physical readiness to face whatever it was. I wasn't. I kept accumulating residues, I kept pushing thoughts into the back of my mind or I added to my stress by being more stressed and more anxious. I hope you will be prepared otherwise the aftermath of a stressful month will be much worse than this stressful month.

transient said...

i suppose the recovery is taxing. There will always be residuals. My state is constant. I may be able to suppress and alter focus and survive.

L said...

so "break down" has been mentioned twice, and in return.."constant" has been mentioned twice by you....

this is so not a breakdown, Transient was just simply born this way!!

what I do like about the way you break things down (and NOT break down yourself) is that it's a very realistic approach to think of the worst case scenario, doing so prepares you to overcome surprising challenges in life.

for ex. "shit, my basement has flooded, but I can handle it because I already had a vision of my own demise. This is not the worst case scenario for me ...yet"

: )

Anonymous said...

maybe he was born with it, maybe it's maybelline

transient said...

Lana, yes you could be correct, in what?, I have no idea, but some stuff makes sense. There is a normalcy, I suppose in this rut, however I seem to gather that the entire world has been accepting in the normalcy of a rut that has no end nor progressive elevation, nor retracting footprint, this is the "constant" in which the breakdown can bear no fracturing. the stress points are divided in equal parts of focused weight, that the break can never happen. It is a sinking caused by steady rot due in part, of course, to our original, all-engulfing rut.

stop me when or if i make sense.

L said...

well then in this case, I am not going to stop you...