Some thought on this month:
Tragedy struck on the first, but I kept quite and unaffected. I've been through so much, that shock holds no value any longer.
On the 11th, I was reminded of what constitutes this country. On the anniversary of one of the biggest tragedies this country has experienced, the average joe was as ignorant as ever. People at work, oddly enough, knew we were still at war but couldn't remember why, even on Sept 11th.
Sept 11th is a bizarre day for me, not only for the tragedy and the events that followed but for the day it could never be. Sept 11th is my oldest son's birthday. Although we celebrate it at home, he can never feel comfortable celebrating with his friends, since in 2001, as he was excitedly announcing his birthday at school and ready to pass cupcakes to his class, the teacher announced to the class that they will be picked up by their parents early because "some bad people killed all those people in the two buildings with an airplane". A five-year-old at the time, he came home confused and shocked and that was the first he ever heard of death. and death is ever linked to his birthday. And he, unlike some of my coworkers, will never forget. I wanted to talk to him about death when he was older, I didn't want an angry teacher to tell him. This was almost as bad as when she brought in baby Jesus to class to teach the Muslim kids about Christ.
Side note: I found it difficult to teach me child about some realities when they were non-existant in school. I told him about Palestine, but it took a while for him to believe me since the teachers told him there was no such country, he couldn't find it on the maps or globe. I bought my own globe and drew it in, and he and I created our own flag and pasted it on a poster of world flags.
On with September; Then Ramadan began and I started noticing all the calendars with all the Jewish, Christian, African and even Canadian holidays, but no Muslim holidays. Even worse, after seven years in the same office, I'm still explaining the concept of Ramadan and our dietary restrictions, I'm tired of being polite.
This has been the most bizarre Ramadan yet. It seems idle, calm, sleepy. I am staggering through it like it was a hallucination. I keep waiting for some monstrous calamity. perhaps this is my last one.
It used to be Ramadan was my most productive month, when I would stay awake 22 out of 24 hours with the day spent working since there is no food, coffee or cigarette breaks and the night was a glorious time of spirituality and creativity.
Now only a groggy stumble through one unproductive day after another. Something is missing and I can't figure out what.
