Friday, February 16, 2007

A Modest Proposal

FOR PREVENTING THE CHILDREN OF FREE BIRTHING ARABS IN MIDDLE EAST FROM BEING A THREAT TO THEIR ISRAELI NEIGHBORS OR WESTERN IDEAL, AND FOR MAKING THEM FINANCIALY PROFITABLE IN A FREE MARKET SOCIETY

IT IS a melancholy object to those who walk through this encased civilization, when they see the market place, the groves, and the dirt play fields, crowded with olive skinned natives to this holiest of lands, followed by three, four, or six children, all with rags on their heads. These parents, hair on blanked faces, crowd prime real estate, not realizing the value they trample.
Instead of idle hands on idle street, need some semblance of modernity. Precious time wastes in caring for multiples of offspring. These offspring will in turn, having neither hope of structured education nor a future of promissory employment, transform frustration into violence and the fine democracy of Israel will suffer. The numbers gain, the population soon may burden not only Israel but also the whole of the Arab world, so much so that a downward spiral of spite leading to action and reaction will spin the region into chaos.

To save this great parcel of strategic plain, I implore you this consideration, on the heels of too many military escalations due to too many unresolved grievances, of a proposal; a proposal that must implement the salvation of our peoples at the cost of few minors. I, as many scholars and politicians wrestled for decades with the notion of the swiftest and fairest of all operations. This that follows is my assessment, in light of new technologies made possible via the Hiram Dydromulator, named after its inventor Hiram Balm. The Dydromulator works to extract water from various objects. It has been tested extensively in South Africa and has recently been awarded a U.S. patent.
This invention is a great problem solver; one, it extracts water a resource in great need and of short supply; two, it will proceed to solve our primary issue of the former mention above.

Given that the human body consists of anywhere from 68-89% water, that number slightly varies in youth, and the average weight of an Arab youth being 87lbs,the Dydromulator can extract roughly 60liters of water. Of course, the water must then be filtered for drinking (giving a lesser yield) and the youth will seize to exist; yet the results would be astounding. Given the large ever increasing number of Arab births, the supply of drinkable water will solve many issues. And the possible resolutions from this sole proposal is an exponential gift.

My intention is very far from being confined to resolving the issues my Zionist strategists struggle with, the result will in no doubt benefit the Arab parent as they primarily will be rid of the burden of having to raise a youth in a world stacked against them, no education, no employment, no hope, no property, no attainable dreams, no peaceful resolutions. This will give the parents freedom and in turn freedom to explore the Western ideals. The compensation will be substantial, yet far less costly than building walls, tanks and a public relations army. The parents may use that newfound wealth as opportunity to join the modern society, rich with capitalistic potential. Luxuries such as Starbucks, a Whopper and an iPod are now within reach. Moreover, more land will be vacated; the population ratios will balance and eventually favor the right, leaving less possibility for conflict.

As many would only naturally wonder, what backlash would arise? This is a noble concern; however, given that the core of this plan deals with decreasing the mass of Arab populous and with limited numbers of future generations as well as the fate of those capable of concern leaning to extinguish due to age, the uproar would be eventually become negligible. Lest we forget the older generation having sold their young would be enjoying the benefits of commercialism and have less need for quarral.

As a concerned citizen of the region, a scientist, and a man who has given great care to the study of this situation, I humbly present this most modest of proposals for debate and consideration.

---Dr. Mafishi Beid

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

What is up with that???

transient said...

What do you mean? have you read it? All of it? If you have and still have that same question, I'll explain later.

can't you give a full comment :)

Anonymous said...

Ok, I have read it...I read it again!!

I know its the end of the day....I do agree innu we should not have 4 5 6 10 kids...stick to 2!!

but whats with the Hiram Dydromulator??!! salvation of our peoples at the cost of few minors!!!??? Explain that!

transient said...

look up "A Modest Proposal" on wikipedia. read the guy's name. The Dydromulator ( you know its not real, right?) is just a vehicle or tool to basically do what is being done already in a different manner.

Anonymous said...

The Tyre website is kind a' like Mel Gibson's Apocolpypto web site. Really weird like that--know what I mean? Slamming stone chamber door sounds--and things like that. I have a deep a infatuation with the Aztecs--and previous mesoamerican societies too. I read once that high priests either Mayan or Aztecan used to practice prolonged autoeroticism rituals for some sort of religious result. Once while doing something high--I caught hold of two hooks in wall--with my eyes and my intoxicated senses--As the intoxicated climax lasted longer than usual--I began to view the hooks as an idol. These days--I avoid that room in the house all together.

transient said...

Yes, you're right the sounds on the Tyre site are weird, but that's all I got from there so far. As far as the rest of your comments, strange, Stay sober dude. Thanks for visiting and for bringing the dark side.

Anonymous said...

btw "The Wake" is a cool movie. :)

transient said...

when did you see that? I hate the director, he is brilliant but wastes his talent.

Anonymous said...

saw it today :) meen hayda il director?? mnee7 mabu shi!!

transient said...

Akhwat.

Anonymous said...

la2 mish akhwat....7aram 3alaik ya khayyi....

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
transient said...

No. I'm not.
my aliases have identifiers

Anonymous said...

I had a feeling its not! thanks...

Anonymous said...

?? where is the modest proposal info??

transient said...

oops, just realized my real name goes out with that e-mail, so good thing you didn't get it, unless...

Anonymous said...

hahahah....

transient said...

damn.

Dareen said...

aint me bro...u should get sitemeter!! atleast u'll kinda be able to tell who posts stuff on your blog if you needed to!!

sorry...not me!

Anonymous said...

Dydromulator--Dydromulator

is in gloom

The people are joyous and now fastly consumed.

why has this poor soul abstained from food

why has he picked the dry skin from his sad sad moon?

you might think he attends to heroics

but this Dydromulator has left him gravely stoic.

This is the state of one who hallucinates a mirage.

but don't worry poor lad

we are immune to the most driest of fads