lost

I've passed that point in life when all the dreams have left me missing by inaction. 

Is it over yet?

I haven't heard anything in a while.

Are the Palestinians all dead yet?

Is the genocide complete?

No? You are not done yet?

Well, tell me how can I help you more than I have already?

My tax dollars were not enough? 

My turning away was not enough?

My silence was not enough?

well, I can sit in my comfy chair and type a blog entry, surely that will help you. 

That way I and many others like me can beat back the guilt and pretend we effect change and return to silence allowing you to complete your task. 

Catching up

Dear accidental reader;

It has been a while since my last post.

Sorry, but I've been pessimistacally engaged.

There are a couple of things worth mentioning.

First, there is that election. I become more suspicious by the day, that this "victory" is a mere illusion, just a bit fancier and more colorful than the last.

Then there is the business of disgust. I just saw a BurgerKing commercial, "Whopper Virgin" I believe its called. Title aside, there is just something disgustingly wrong about using an Inuit to sell your burger, and something wrong in the notion that she would want a burger, and something evil in spreading your diseased fastfood to the world. Commercialism, capitalism, consumerism have no end, no ethics, no decency, no resposibility. This lastest example just reminds me.

And now for something completely different...The whole shoe throwing incident was as funny as it was pathetic. Have you ever seen a president dodge shoes? A fitting end to a miserable eight years. What makes this pathetic is that we had to endure 8 years and war and hunger and environnmental disaster and so on without challenges. How can we laugh now, when we allowed this for 8years?

And now...the larch. Sorry, I meant ladder. I had a fall off a ladder and would have been bed-ridden if it weren't for the fact that I need to continue to work. Sure, I'm fortunate to have a job, or two when others are in need, out of work, or hungry. I am fortunate; however, If we had universal healthcare I would not fear losing this job, any job would do. If we had governments that truely served their people, then I would not need to feel guilty for having a job when others don't. What's a government good for, if it won't serve its people? Commercialism, capitolism, consumerism, I suppose are to blame. Then doesn't something more social and civil sound better? Will another system help?Am I assuming too much? After all we are human, and it seems to be our nature to take more than our share, take more than we share.

Convulsions of a Politico Masochist

These are trying times.

Times in which an end or a beginning is one opinion swayed.

Or is that one perspective?

Or one piece of propaganda?

Will history repeat itself and a people robbed of hope?

Or will history be made?

For me, I see no source of hope. There is only a bleak end.

What will change? What can change? What will be allowed?

The stage had been set and the rules have been passed.

For every election. I am relegated to the pondering of a vote for a lesser evil.

What will change?

Perhaps a perception of change is all that is needed.

Perhaps the belief is all that is needed to cause change.

Perhaps this awakens democracy and truly a beginning of progress sets in.

Perhaps we are fooled again. 

Every amateur political fan predicting a landslide victory for Obama punctuates his statements with “unless…”

There is always doubt, there is always fear, there is always an eerie whisper of unshameful mendacity.

Will there be change?

Will change be allowed?

What will that change be?

True change comes quickly.

Change is a sudden and radical alteration of present reality.

All else is evolution or stagnation, mindless of its color or promise.

After months of contemplating and complaining, I ask myself, will I vote?

The better question is “if I vote will it count, even if I vote for the winner?”

The conclusion is no, on both counts.

There is a play performed. Democracy, socialism, totalitarianism, and so on, till end, are plays performed. Anyone, a politico, is aware of the play. The roles change to suit the times, the philosophies change to hold the masses, but the play goes on.

And to this end, convulsions temper a mind unable to rest, unable to change. 

Elections 08

take me to Ramadan

this will do just until i energize, just until i find Ramadan and live at least one month of peace.

Mahmoud Darwich 1941-2008

And coffee swirls to mud

The smoke circles up mourning clouds
And I’m left gasping at somber news
The death comes an unbound burn
And he’s gone to join his immortal olive trees
The roots cut and dust replaces our precious fruit

Back from Lebanon

I've been back for a week, but it's taken me this long to return to functionality from a long and frustratingly surreal trip. Lebanon kicks your ass even before you get off the plane from a rediculous 17hour torture flight. Then it gets worse. But for those who long for that breath of sweet polluted air of home and that taste of bitter sand, it could seem like heaven.
For all its grime, Lebanon posseses an unrivaled beauty that captivates us and drags us into an intoxicating abyss of nostalgia. 
Lebanon is a disciplinarian that laughs at your pain then gives you ice cream in an ancient village, (damn good ice cream too).
One thought that sticks with me is the description of Lebanon that is too vulgar for print, but it survives in a rythymic khaos that mezmerizes. 
I'll miss it and long to return, so much so that I'd probably lose fortunes and decades seeking the return.

On my way to Beirut

This is Detroit Airport McNamara terminal from gate 60 weighting for flight to Amman with 269 other passangers
This is from inside the Royal Jordanian flight from my seat. At this point only half the people boarded and a woman insisted that I was in her seat. We and one more person had the same assigned seat. Only on RJ. BTW these seats still had ashtrays even though it's been years since you could smoke on the plane.

Take off. I had to look outside. I convinced myslef that the loose parts and paint chips were normal. At least there were no gremlins.
Sunset from 39,000 feet. 
Waiting for my connecting flight to Beirut at the Queen Alia International Airport with my $9 coffe and cheese. At least I found Wi-Fi. 

Next stop Beirut then South Lebanon.  

Experimental design (arabesque doily??)

Ok, this isn't IBJ quality, but that's why it's called practise.

For the good stuff check this out... http://ibnbintjbeil.blogspot.com/2007/03/finalization-of-arabic-design.html